Women Who Can't Cook

These creatures boggle my mind. I know it's not as rare as [insert near extinct things here] but I'm still dumbfounded when I meet one and I study them like caged zoo animals.

I just don't get it. How does one get to be 20-something (caveat: I'm talking about women, welcome to my traditional roles view) and not figure out how to follow a recipe, or throw sustenance together in some sort of semblance of edibility? I think the first things I learned to cook by myself was Kraft Mac & Cheese and scrambled eggs (not together) when I was about 13. I actually remember that feeling of accomplishment a lot more clearly than when puberty struck, or when I learned to ride a bike or where I was when I was first kissed.

This past Friday we went to a friend's place for a small dinner gathering. He cooked fajitas and I brought a corn and bean salad I made from mostly scratch, my corn was a little overripe and starchy so I used a can instead but other than that, all prepped by me. Soaked and simmered the black beans overnight, cut up cilantro, scallions, tomatoes (seeded), can o' corn kernels, avocado, little kosher salt and lime juice. Done. Mmm mmm good.

One girl at the table is 23, only child, natural blonde, from Newport Beach, started her first job within the last year and this creature literally cannot cook soup. She fucked up pasta. I queried, "how do you fuck up pasta?" And she said, "I didn't know I had to stir it." Umm, wow, OK. Don't get me wrong, I liked her just fine. But I was just so confused by the things she was saying. As I was stirring the chicken fajitas, I handed her the spoon, because I think a lot of her ignorance is fear-based, she just doesn't know how and is afraid she'll mess it up or look dumb so she doesn't try. The trepidation with which she approached that pan and the timid way in which she attempted to push that poultry around only furthered my curious observation of this person. There was no gumption at all to her technique. If she had actually had to render the meat healthy to consume from the get-go instead of being welcomed in a couple minutes from the end, I would bet money that the top half of each piece would have stayed raw. However, she was so proud of herself for her contribution to the meal once she stepped away from the stove, that there may be hope for her yet.

She's not the first woman I've heard this from. Once while standing in the kitchen at work, I was detailing for someone some simple meal I had cooked the night before and a freelancer interjected with, "wow, you really know how to cook? I just make my boyfriend pick up P.F. Chang's." I wonder if my slack jaw was as obvious as it felt.

I can't think of a solitary thing, that someone can do for someone else, on a regular basis, that says, "I love you" more than putting forth the effort to make delicious meals. Maybe if you're a trophy wife, just physically perfect in every way, give it up multiple times daily and also converse in a consistently interesting fashion, can a woman get away with not learning how to make food. Plus it's really expensive to have businesses prepare all your meals for you, everyday. More on this topic at a later date.